The Cross Road
“ Don’t worry when we get to that bridge we will be cross it"
- Popular Saying
You see, I have always been an overthinker so the popular mantra does not apply to me as It innate to think and worry about the what-ifs and as a result allowing fear to cripple me.
This cycle has been all I have ever known that it is my norm somewhat of my identity- Imagine identifying as an overthinker “Hello, I am Mental Chick and I am an overthinker”, Hilarious, I might add.
Recently, My aunts and mom decided to lock their hair permanently (dreadlocks). It took a gruesome 18 hours in total but looked beautiful at the end. During the hair locking process, I was partly sold on the idea of locking my hair permanently yet I was plagued by the thoughts of what if I get bored or I can not manage it or it doesn’t look good on me or what will others say or what if I can change my mind, later on, it would mean I would have to shave it all off. These thoughts scare me.
Similarly, I am also at a crossroad where I have to make a decision about my career path, the what-ifs- a parasitic relationship that follows me and takes me on an endless cycle that I am yet to still make a decision on what to do.
Believe me, the trade-off is a lot to handle that my knowledge and skill on a scale of preference seems to be dullen by my emotions. Every place, I work at, I am usually emotionally attached and the growing thought of leaving to start building new relationships just scares me.
I have to start again, a newbie- learning the ropes of a new environment. The thought and questions are overwhelming that my mind is overloading. Perhaps, it is time to risk it all and ignore the what-ifs. who knows, the output might just be as beautiful as the dreadlocks.
